why does he treat me with contempt

27 years of it. Should I Stay or Should I Go? NamasteComments like yours are what makes bloggers like me keep writing. What they accuse me of is what they themselves are doing, thinking, or feeling. I'm talking about packing things into a car to drive to another venue. Hopefully they will prove helpful also to others who read these comments, as your problem is one shared by many.i'm 30, one kid and after reading the first two comments am shocked to realize that all this time I am guilty of showing contempt to my husband of 7 yrs. I only hope he doesn't repeat this horrid way of living when he grows up. I have not have sex in three years. I know that contempt is not productive, and I have had to battle it in other situations where it was clrealy not warranted ... but that I can manage because I see clear alternatives that I can learn, but I don't know how to do it in these difficult situations.I don't know the answer but you've got a lot of insight and awareness around this, I could easily relate to your experience. It was also the last he ever wanted to hear from me.

What is the point of trying to control everything yet refuses to understand?

And none will. He does not respect you because he knows you put up with a lot of abuse from him. Any content contained in this document may not be copied in part or in full without express written permission from the publisher.

I used to think I was strong, but am not any longer. Contempt is like when someone is looking down their nose at you and treating you like ****. That’s because most people react to being treated contemptuously with the thought, “If you don’t want me, then I don’t want you!”A relationship connection is expressed and reinforced via information-sharing—that is, by talking and listening.

Relationship Uncertainty 4. With friends, you pick people who are supportive, interesting, and help you grow.

It's the pot calling the kettle black. But with your family, you have no choice.

From this place, the other person is no longer a threat.Look at the now-deflated image of the other person and apologize (to the image, not the actual person).

(see also What you will do is that you will collect information about that person by making simple tests such as asking him about something or giving him some You are very likley not to get people correctly in the first few times but as you build your experience you will become able to spot mean people from a distance.

He'll just treat the next woman in his life the same way.

You feel a duty to see them—especially around the holidays or special events—even when you’d rather avoid them.Of course avoidance is one choice. for the life of me, I can't seem to get out either.What would happen if you were to tell your spouse (this is for dealing with contemptuous husbands or wives) that you are taking a vacation for a week from his tone of voice. In a good conversation, two people take turns offering and accepting information, braiding their connection all the while.If, by contrast, you dismiss what I say, brushing my input aside as if it were unimportant or incorrect, the break in the flow of information between us severs the connection.

I'm afraid our 19 year old marriage has always been dysfunctional. Beware. Best friend to enemy overnight.When I looked up some of his behavior, I found out that he was a malignant narcissist. When in close proximity, state obvious behaviours like please stop being rude, when she is yelling put your hand up like stop it creates a distance between her verbal energy and yourself or walk out of the room.

I am guilty of not firmly establishing my personal boundaries, giving in to her to keep the peace and stay married. I don't know how to face it even thought your article perfectly defines the behavior and its consequences.

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The contempt shone through so clearly, that I wondered why I hadn't seen it before. However, I hate not telling you about great things going on in my life, so here goes......' He was "taken back," by my message. I do not stay and hear the rest of the message when someone is speaking in a contemptuous or angry voice to me.

The three kids are grown and have all encouraged me to divorce her.

You get to choose your friends, but not your family. I have 2 grown daughters who are out of the house, his we are still raising 50/50 with his ex another 6 years at least.I spent a lot of time in my former marriage on the receiving end of contempt. You are an adult and if you choose to stick around to be continually beaten, that's your choice. as in divorce. Should I Stay or Should I Go? Meanwhile, you MUST protect your child from being yelled at.

Contempt is a sign of the speaker's deficits that says nothing about you, the receiver.Bart, I went through the very same as you did with your friend. You can take your mother's contemptuous remarks to heart, or you can ignore the content and take the comments just as yet another sign that your mother is still locked into hate mode. I chose to talk about it when he wasn't overwhelmed or stressed in the hope he would view it with more clarity.

I have done these things, but to no avail.

You’re giving up something you thought you could get. I know I am free to go, make a change, file for divorce but for some reason I am not able to.i can't believe there are men out there who have been married over 29 years and suffered through these ordeals.When I do anything she asks me to do, it is always wrong.

I have tried many times in the past to take her away from the room the child is in, to talk calmly and peacefully. if it is ever brought up in a conversation, she states, she is not sorry.

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