A: Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups. Q: Why don't hockey players drink tea? A: The one with the biggest head. So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove into a wall. NHL, the NHL Shield, the word mark and image of the Stanley Cup, the Stanley Cup Playoffs logo, the Stanley Cup Final logo, Center Ice name and logo, NHL Conference logos, NHL Winter Classic name, and The Biggest Assist Happens Off The Ice are registered trademarks and Stanley Cup Qualifiers name and logo, NHL.TV, Vintage Hockey word mark and logo, The Game Lives Where You Do, NHL Winter Classic logo, NHL Heritage Classic name and logo, NHL Stadium Series name and logo, NHL All-Star logo, NHL Face-Off name and logo, NHL. Q: Why did the hockey player visit the bank? If you’re looking for hockey jokes, then this is the best collection for you to share with your friends and family. St. Helens freezes. Q: What is the hardest foot to buy a hockey skate for? Canadians start saying "cold, eh?". She just wanted to make her friend jealous and accidentally made a porno. A: They couldn’t string three W’s together. © What's the difference between a Harley and a vacuum cleaner? He knows I only drink scotch. I asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. When she sits on the bench. When I lose the TV controller, it's always hidden in some remote destination. Canadians have the last cookout of the season. All sorted from the best by our visitors. By using NHL websites or other online services, you consent to the practices described in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Service, including our Cookie Policy. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); A: Stanley Cupcakes. Learn more about field hockey, including its history. A: He was ice fishing and got run over by the zamboni! Referring to Jeremy Roenick’s talking during the NHL playoffs. Here are some of the most amusing one-liners ever heard in and around an NHL rink. Similar one liners. Hockey is a mans game children can play, the other sports are children’s games that men play. Similar one liners. Q: What was the hockey player’s favorite part of his birthday party? Q: Which goal keeper can jump higher than the crossbar? Welcome to NHL.com, the official site of the National Hockey League, Bienvenue à LNH.com , le site officiel de la Ligue nationale de hockey, Добро пожаловать на NHL.com, официальный сайт Национальной хоккейной лиги, Tervetuloa NHL:n viralliselle nettisivustolle NHL.comiin, Välkommen till NHL.com, NHL:s officiella web-sida, Vítejte na NHL.com, oficiálních stránkách National Hockey League, Vitajte na NHL.com, oficiálnych stránkach National Hockey League, Willkommen auf NHL.com, der offiziellen Seite der National Hockey League, Bienvenido a NHL.com, el sitio oficial de la National Hockey League. Why do field hockey players never sweat? Picture: Paul … It is called field hockey to distinguish it from the similar game played on ice. A: They both look good until they hit the ice. The hockey lockout of 1994-1995 has been settled. A: They both look good until they hit the ice. One liner tags: alcohol, dirty, gay, men, puns. Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and the Atlanta Thashers? (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Canadian hockey player, coach & commentator, (1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager, I don't want to get into a 'He said, she said' with the refs… I'm the 'he.'. The other day, when I was watching a boxing match on TV, a hockey game broke New York City landlords finally turn on the heat. All Rights Reserved. 66.58 % / 38 votes. TV, NHL Premium, NHL After Dark, NHL GameCenter, NHL GameCenter LIVE, NHL Network name and logo, NHL Tonight name and logo, On The Fly, NHL Awards name and logo, NHL Draft name and logo, NHL Mascots, Hockey Fights Cancer, Because It's The Cup, NHL Green name and logo, NHL Vault, Hockey Is For Everyone, NHL Thanksgiving Showdown name and logo, NHL Centennial Classic name and logo, NHL Centennial Season logo, NHL100 Classic name and logo, NHL Global Series name and logo, NHL China Games name and logo, NHL Power Players name and logo, and Don't Miss A Moment are trademarks of the National Hockey League. Do you know a funny one liner? A: He drove the hambony. Owww… it caught ‘em right in the pants area. What do you call a dog that swallows a field hockey ball? People didn't know the difference between a blue line and a clothes line. A: Her coach was a pumpkin. When you say "edited it" you are saying "edit" twice. Q: What did the skeleton drive to the Hockey game? Q: What do a bad hockey team and the Titanic have in common? A: Because all the fans have left. ", Longtime NHL forward Dan Maloney, when asked about a New Year's resolution: "To score as many goals this year as Wayne Gretzky got last week. All rights reserved. The largest collection of sport one-line jokes in the world. Both do hat tricks. Hockey players wear numbers because you can’t always identify the body with dental records. A: They hog the puck. ", Hockey Hall of Famer Bobby Orr on what it's like playing in NHL alumni games: "It's still the same old story. A: They always gets nailed to the boards. A: Ice bergers. Hell freezes over. See all one liners sorted from the best by visitors like you. What does a good field hockey striker have in common with a magician? Q: What do angry hockey players say after getting tripped? Inner Socks for hockey under your shinguards at Just Hockey. Our first priority was staying alive. Absolutely hillarious sport one-liners! (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Q: What did the zombie do at the hockey rink? Canadians Sunbathe. A: She always loses a skate. ", Vancouver Canucks coach Harry Neale after receiving a thank-you note from Winnipeg Jets coach Tom Watt for defeating the Chicago Blackhawks, helping the Jets in the NHL standings: "Awaiting further orders on who you want us to beat next. You agree by closing this box or continuing to use our site. A: He thought they said they were Jockey tryouts. A: The Bruce-Lee Cup. In stock and ready to ship Q: What did the army captain say to his hockey team? A: To get to the other side. Canadian water get thicker. We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"