I’ve never understood how God could expect His creatures to pick the one true religion by faith – it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe. Christian Jokes Designed To Make You Smile. If there were no faith there would be no living in this world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Christian Sayings and Quotes. Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains…. Churches, in particular, have a way of handing out unexpected laughs to passersby. ~ The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around. ~ I’d rather live my whole life assuming there is a God, only to find out that there isn’t, than to live my whole life assuming there isn’t a God, only to find out there is. ~ Christianity is the strangest religion ever set up, for it committed a murder upon Jesus in order to redeem mankind from the sin of eating an apple.

We use cookies for analytics, advertising and to improve user experience. I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me. To find out more see our

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old christian quotes, christian sayings, and christian proverbs, collected over the … Funny Christianity Quotes. ~ The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried. But don’t worry – the Virgin Mary is pregnant again. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. But it can put mountains where there are none. ~ Billy Graham It’s important for the soul and for others who follow our lead. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. ~ The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close. You talk to God, you’re religious. If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said “No”. ~ On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park.

but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession.If you enjoyed these funny Christian quotes and sayings, you may also enjoy our ~ Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? Life, God, Christian Henry T. Blackaby, Richard Blackaby, Claude V. King (2008). People who want to share their religious views with you, almost never want you to share yours with them. ~ Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. ~ I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me… they’re cramming for their final exam. If it is, it ceases to be prayer and becomes correspondence. Temples are free to enter but still empty. And so without further ado, here they are.The number of followers you have doesn’t make you better than anyone else.

We like to think that Jesus had at least a bit of a sense of humor and believe that laughter can usually help us through the toughest of times. From the mouth of babes... A Christian should only have one spouse. Lots wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. ~ Heaven goes by favor.

These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. ~ No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says.

“Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God”, p.209, B&H Publishing Group And besides, they’re just plain funny! ~ If there were no God, there would be no atheists. Funny Christian Quotes . It can also deepen our connection to God. Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

God is the immortal refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. ~ A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip. We couldn’t even eat hash with any safety. Belief is when someone else does the thinking.The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. ~ Billy Sunday A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip. When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe? 60+ Funny Christian Jokes That Will Put A Smile On Your Face Religion is a sacred thing and most of us were probably taught not to joke with any religion, so far we have adhered to that, but yet we have found a way to extract these jokes that will never annoy any one and still able to make you laugh out loud. And that’s the reason that we thought we’d gather together the best funny Christian quotes for you. Christian leaders need to laugh and know how to laugh. ~ Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

~ Anonymous Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Absolutely hillarious christian one-liners! If everything is serious then, really, nothing is serious. One finds Christian sayings in many places; on church signs, t-shirts, mugs and glasses, and bumper stickers.
~ Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. Faith is much better than belief. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. ~ It is the final proof of God’s omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

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